Work that Self Worth Girl!
By Jade Head
Self worth is something I have struggled with almost all my life. And it is something that we cannot ignore if we want to live to our highest potential, and live a life that is ultimately true to us.
Low self worth sees us eating foods that don’t nourish us and staying quiet when we’d really like to speak up. We don’t create boundaries and we find it hard to say no. We stay stuck in jobs, relationships, and places longer than we know we should. We create bad habits that might make us feel good in the short-term, but ultimately hurt us in the long run. We doubt ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough. We’re not qualified enough. We’re not bubbly or funny or witty enough. We’re not skinny enough or smart enough. We tell ourselves our dreams are too big, or worse - we don’t dare to dream at all.
I believe we chose to be here. I believe we all came here to enjoy life, to have fun, to shine our lights, to grow and expand and to ultimately fulfil our purpose and reach our highest potential.
Here’s the thing – we are ALL worthy. I don’t need to know your name or what you do for a living or where you grew up. I don’t need to know any of that. It’s not even a question. You my friend, are worthy of a life so magical it blows your mind. You are worthy of anything you envision for yourself. You are worthy of beautiful and supportive relationships. You are worthy of a job that inspires you and pays you abundantly. You are worthy - you just need to believe it and embody it!
But how does one cultivate strong self worth? I’ve spent almost the last decade finding these answers and this is what has been true for me:
FIND WAYS TO RAISE YOUR VIBRATION EVERY DAY
This has been one of the greatest and most important lessons I’ve learnt. How do you raise your vibration? By doing things that make you feel good. For me, I feel good when I’m listening to inspiring podcasts, eating nourishing food, swimming in the ocean, laughing with my bestie, writing, dancing and laying in the sun. When I’m fully present in these moments – the world feels brighter, I feel so much gratitude and appreciation for my life, and my problems don’t seem so problematic anymore.
CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE THAT INSPIRES + NOURISHES
This tip is also connected to raising your vibration. A beautiful morning routine sets your day up for success and can leave you feeling relaxed and inspired and full of good vibes. Each morning I do a 10 – 15 minute meditation using the Timer App, journal, pull an oracle card, walk my dog and listen to an inspiring podcast - all before work.
SAY YES TO NEW OPPORTUNITIES
Sometimes one of the best ways we can strengthen our self worth is by stepping outside our comfort zones and doing something that scares us. Apply for that job. Go to that event alone. Strike up conversation with a stranger. The universe always rewards our bravery – even if you don’t get what you initially thought you wanted.
This is something I learnt from Lacy Phillips of Free & Native. Expanders are essentially people we admire who have what we want. The more similar their background is to yours, the better. Expanders remind us that what we desire is possible for us too. It’s the whole concept of “seeing is believing”. Lacy says: “What inspires us about others is a mirror of our capacity and capability.” As an example, strong expanders for me are women who were introverted and shy as a kid but are now speaking on stages in front of hundreds of people, running beautiful workshops across the world and showing up authentically. Find your expanders. Sign up to their emails, buy their books, ask them out for coffee or follow them on Instagram.
CREATE SPACE FOR JOURNALLING
This is a beautiful tool and one I use almost everyday. To show you just how powerful it can be, I invite you to answer the following prompts:
What are my self-worth wounds? (For example, mine began as a child and were related to insecurities of people not liking me and feeling like I wasn’t “enough” - skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough etc.)
Where am I giving away my power? (It could be an obsession with gossip magazines, unsupportive friendships, lack of boundaries)
Imagine the best, highest version of yourself. How does she feel? How does she show up in the world? (Put on your favourite upbeat song or Beyonce and really sink into how this feels.)
PROTECT YOUR ENERGY AND SET BOUNDARIES
It’s OK to say no. It’s OK to cancel plans. It’s OK to let your phone ring out if you don’t have the energy to talk. If you feel tired and exhausted and your body is saying no – honour it.
TRACK YOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE
We are cyclical beings and it’s so important to recognise that as women our hormones are constantly changing throughout the month. Our bodies literally go through the seasons and when you start tracking your cycle you’ll be able to identify the days you feel most powerful and confident (Day 8 – 14: Spring) and the days you’re most likely to curl into a ball, contemplating the purchase of a one way ticket to anywhere but here :P (that’s Day 22 – 28: Autumn for me). To learn more, I recommend the work of Claire Baker.
VISUALISE YOUR DREAM LIFE
Write a script for how you want to feel and what you want to achieve. This is something I learnt from Peta Kelly, the author of Earth is Hiring. You can be as specific as you like. It’s important to do this when you’re in a relaxed, feel-good state. What are your goals? How do you want to feel? Write in past tense as if it’s already happened. Once you’re finished, save it on your phone and read it every morning.
ASK BETTER QUESTIONS
Our minds are clever. Ask a question and it’ll try to find an answer, even if it’s not true. I used to ask myself a lot of negative questions… such as: What did I do to deserve this? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why am I so stupid? Reframing your questions is simple, but incredibly empowering. See how different these questions feel: What nuggets of gold can I find in this situation? What did I learn from this? What do I love about myself? What am I most proud of? What are my talents?
IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
For as long as I can remember I’ve feared what others thought of me – the way I spoke, the way I dressed, the way I did my hair. Could they tell I was anxious? Did they know I was nervous? Did they think I was incompetent? Did they think I was boring? One day I had the realisation that it’s not all about me. No one was judging me. No one was concerned about how nervous I looked in a meeting two years ago. So why worry? Why fixate on the past? Let go of fear and judgement and just do you, girl! Be your luminous, radiant self and know that is enough. You are enough.
BY JADE HEAD (ANXIETY TO ALCHEMY)
Jade Head is a holistic health coach from Brisbane, Australia. She is the writer behind www.anxietytoalchemy.com, where she shares her experience and lessons from living with anxiety.
Jade believes anxiety can be a call to action and the beginning of a spiritual quest. It is her mission to help women navigate through this space and connect to their highest truth and potential.