How to be Confident


By Lucy allen

Lucy Allen How to be Confident

One of the number one questions I get asked is, “how are you so confident?” Imma let you in on a little secret, I work on it every single day. 

Confidence is not something we’re born with, it’s something we have to work on and the most confident people in the world are those who have simply mastered this practice. 

So, what can you do to build your confidence? Simple, follow me… 


Action Builds Confidence 

The biggest misconception around confidence is that it’s linked to your achievements. Once you finish your studies, you’ll be confident. Once you lose the weight, you’ll be confident. Once you land the dream job, you’ll be confident. 

This simply isn’t how it works. 

 Confidence is built in the doing, not in the having. Every time you take a step (big or small) towards something that scares you, you build confidence. 

Stop waiting for the confidence and know this will come once you do something (anything!) in the direction of whatever it is that you’re afraid of, confidence will follow. 


Be Kind To Yourself 

How we think about challenges and opportunities has a direct impact on the outcome of those. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t do it, that you’re hopeless and you’re a failure then guess what, this will become your reality. 

It’s time to start thinking about your mind in the same way that you think about your body. Feed it with healthy and nourishing thoughts and it will perform at its best. 

Challenge your mindset by replacing unhelpful thoughts (like the above) with a simple affirmation - “I got this” or “I am strong, I am capable and I can do this.” The first few times you repeat these mantras it will feel strange and you probably won’t believe what you’re saying. But, stick with it and overtime this will become the autopilot of your thinking and you’ll be more confident in moving ahead. 


Celebrate the Small Wins

Nothing builds confidence more than celebrating the amazing things you’ve achieved. Taking the time each day to acknowledge three things that went well will train your brain to focus on the great things you’re doing. The ultimate confidence booster! 

I like to write down my small wins in an excel doc #nerdalert but you can pop them in your phone, write them down in a notebook or simply say them aloud. The more you do this, the more you’ll find to celebrate and the more confident you’ll become in your abilities. 


Surround Yourself with People Who Tell You You’re Awesome

We’ve all heard that saying “your tribe comes your vibe” and I can’t stress how true this is! There is nothing that knocks your confidence more than other people telling you that you can’t do something. 

This might be coming from a parent, a partner, a relative or a friend but whatever the source, you need to create some distance from it and connect with more supportive people.  


If you’re wanting to start a new business then reach out to fellow entrepreneurs who can give you a pep talk when you need it. Want to start posting more videos to LinkedIn? Start following people who create video content that you love and tell them you love it – they might just return the favour. Or, if you’re wanting more confidence across the board, think about working with a Coach who can be your personal cheerleader and will believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

Lucy Allen - The Graceful Collective


Lucy is a Life and Career Coach inspired by the belief that there’s got to be more to life than the daily grind.

She's on a mission to open the eyes of women around the world to the possibility of living life on their terms. She wants to empower women to dominate in the career they were born to have, enjoy the loving home life they deserve and revel in a relationship with themselves that’s unshakable.