Building a Confident YOU
By Sabrina Davis
You can’t think your way into it and there is no secret how-to book to life that you are missing.
There are 27 ways to fake it ‘til you make it, but you are craving more than that.
The confidence you are seeking is a feeling that you want to embrace wholeheartedly. It’s about getting all those tips, tricks and how-to’s out of your head and to actually start being a part of how you see yourself:
An amazing confident woman!
As you look around, you can see those that really embody confidence. It’s in the way they walk, talk, and keep their composure; they never seem rattled.
Meanwhile there are days you wonder if you can adult, feeling like you are fumbling around, second-guessing yourself, and you’re far too self-conscious of your body to ever believe that you could feel differently.
So one sleepless night you find yourself Googling for the secret how-to...
Into the search bar you type “How to be confident in myself” and start scrolling the 116,000,000 results. You see the posts about how to fake it, and how to trick yourself, but you aren’t looking for superficial results. How is any of that going to help you stop stumbling over your sentences?
And then you find the epic post, “62 tips on how to be more self-confident”, and as you scroll down reading through it all, you start to wonder how are you going to find the time to remember to do everything on this list?
I believe that confidence isn’t found in any list of things to do, we can read all about how to be confident, and there are little tricks that can help us out for those nervous moments in our life, like a job interview or speaking at your best friend’s wedding.
However we need to switch confidence from a logical thought for the long-term changes so many of us are seeking. Because you hold the secret you’re looking for, you just need to learn how to access it.
I believe that confidence is built on three pillars:
Knowing what you want
Some of us have been raised with the belief that kindness and politeness comes before what we want, need or feel. We are conditioned to see our needs and wants as selfish.
Embracing that confidence you are craving starts by giving yourself permission to create a life based on what you want, rather than what is expected of you.
Invite curiosity into your life as you begin to explore this, it’s an area where you can have a lot of fun.
Creating a life based on how you want to feel
When it comes to measuring our success and setting our goals, we often look towards our physical realm such as our house, our car and the money in the bank account. There is nothing wrong with this; we are allowed to create an abundant life.
However it is incredibly life-changing when you become clear on what your values are and how you want your life to feel. It is from this place that you can make subtle changes that, when you reflect back on them, you can see the greater impact they made to you and your confidence.
Being intentional with what you say yes and no to
When you say yes to things in your life due to obligation those “shoulds” become more important than what you feel, think or want.
Our lives are busy, and every year it seems like that they are getting busier and busier. It sometimes seems easier during our working week to say yes to something that we would prefer to say no to.
When it comes to creating a life that feels confident to you, you have to start being intentional with everything you are saying yes and no to. Notice when you say yes and when you say no, and then with compassion ask yourself what you really wanted to say. Then next time give yourself the permission to choose your yes and your no. Over time, watch how this shifts your confidence.
To embrace confidence, you need to know that there is power in the small actions. It’s in every time you choose what you say yes or no to. When you take action towards creating a life that feels incredible to you and when you focus on what you want in this world, rather than going with the flow or doing something out of obligation, it allows you to fully feel what confidence is.
BY SABRINA DAVIS
Sabrina is a life coach and spiritual mentor who works with women to reclaim their power. Sabrina guides women to unlock a deep relationship with their self by exploring boundaries, self-care and spirituality. This allows women to create their own joy filled life and begin living unapologetically.